Navigationally Challenged
by Xaja Silversheen
Summary: In which, the inability of men to ask for directions is mocked, as is the inability of women to navigate. Starring Obi-Wan and Zara. Audio only. :P


**DISCLAIMER: Teeheeheehee! At last, I have me own One Ring of Unlimited Copyright Privileges, which means that I now own Star Wars! Finally! MWAHAHA- *slips on the conveniently-appearing banana peel, sending the Ring flying out of her hand and down the randomly-appearing drain* Oh, Sith...**

**I don't own Star Wars. The drain monster does. *sighs***

**I'd like to know why my muse refuses to give me anything for 'Castaway' or 'Sword of the Gaelin', but keeps rocking up with all these one-shot ideas... Sorry, People Who Were Expecting 'Castaway' To Be Updated! **

**This one-shot's Obi-Wan/Zara centric, with Qui-Gon, Cin and Mace at the end...**

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"Are you sure we're going the right way?"

"Of course we are! Don't you trust me?"

"Uh, Obi-Wan, the last time you said that we ended up having to run for our lives from Master Poof."

"That was Garen's fault. This is different."

"Hmmph. I'm pretty sure that was yours..."

"No it wasn't! Now, if we go left at this next intersection..."

"Why the Sith did I agree to let you drive again?"

"Because you're still too young for your permit, young Zara- OW! What was that for? I'm driving!"

"You jerk. I'm only four months younger than you!"

"Those for months make all the difference- Quit swatting me! I'm driving!"

"You deserve any bruise you get. Hey, wasn't that the intersection you were going for?"

"Uh... No?"

"..."

"Maybe..."

"Obi-Wan!"

"What? We'll just go around the block!"

*facepalm*

"Zara, c'mon. What's the worst that could happen?"

"Oh, getting lost in the lower levels of Coruscant comes to mind..."

"We're looking for only the second-biggest building on the planet. The Temple can't be hard to find!"

"That's what you said when we were looking for the Senate building!"

"That was three months ago! Oops..."

"What?"

"Uh... I may have just turned the wrong way..."

*sigh* "This is the last time I let you take me anywhere outside of the Temple."

"You were the one who wanted to go to the mall, remember?"

"Yeah, but..."

"But what?"

"... Next time, I'm asking Garen to fly me."

"Are you crazy?"

"Good point. He navigates even worse than you do."

"I think I should be offended by that."

"The truth hurts, Kenobi."

*incoherent grumbling*

"And speaking of navigation... Where are we?"

"Uh... Coruscant?"

*smack*

"OW! Zara!"

"Specify. Where?"

"Uh..."

"Pull over."

"What?"

"Pull over, Kenobi."

"What are you doing, hitchhiking? Your Master's gonna kill me-"

"How dumb do you think I am? I'm asking for directions!"

"..."

"What's that look for?"

"Zara. We men do not ask for directions."

"Newsflash, Kenobi..."

"Yes, I know you're a girl. However, it's a major blow to my ego as a self-respecting man if-"

*snort*

"What was that for?"

"Need I expand on that?"

"Shaddup. Anyway, do you know how much teasing I'd get if I actually had to ask for directions to get back to the biggest landmark around?"

"No one needs to know. Look, there's someone there! Let's ask-"

"No way! I can find our way back to the Temple!"

"..."

"Quit glaring at me like that."

"I will glare at you as much as I want."

"Relax, all right? I'll get us back to the Temple soon!"

"As long as it's within twenty minutes. Master Cin and I have a sparring lesson then, and you know how he is with time..."

"I'm all over it!"

"And for the love of the Force, don't speed, dammit! I don't think Master Qui-Gon will want to pay for one of your speeding tickets!"

"I'm not- Oh, Sith."

"That's what I thought. Just get us back to the Temple in one piece, please?"

(Some time later...)

"Finally! We're back! Told you I'd get us back, Zara!"

"Took long enough, too. I TOLD you we should have taken that left back there!"

"There was building construction in that direction! That would have slowed us down!"

"Oh, and your detour through Lower Coruscant didn't?"

"We were only down on that level for a few minutes!"

"So? If our Masters find out about that detour we're BOTH dead."

"Which is why they won't, Za. Uh, speaking of our Masters, why are they both on the landing pad? And both looking rather annoyed with us?"

"Uh... Maybe it's the fact that we're over half an hour late?"

"We are?"

"Yep."

"..."

"..."

"Sith."

"Pretty much. I'm now no longer speaking to you, Kenobi."

"What?"

"..."

"Even if your brilliant idea to ask for directions sent us in the wrong direction entirely?"

"It was a great idea! It's your fault you picked that particular kid to ask!"

"I asked if you thought that was a good idea and you said it was!"

"How was I supposed to know he would send us the opposite direction into the 'Red Light' district?"

"I knew that was a bad idea to ask him!"

"Oh, like you knew where we were going?"

"I'm a guy. I can carry a map in my head, unlike you girls."

"That's because our heads have something in them! Uh-oh..."

"I wonder how long our respective Masters are going to ground us?"

"I'm guessing at least a week- DON'T CRASH THE SPEEDER!"

"I'm not gonna crash the speeder! I know how to park these things!"

"Even if you can't navigate?"

"It's better than you navigating."

"I beg to differ!"

"I remember Dantooine, Zara. Even your Master agrees that you should never navigate again."

*smack*

"OW! What? That was the truth!"

"I'm not talking to you."

"Fine, be that way!- Er, hi, Master."

"Obi-Wan..." *sighs*

"What'd you two do, take a trip off-planet?"

"No, Master... Obi-Wan just got us lost."

"I did not! Asking that guy for directions was your idea!"

"One you should have listened to earlier! The first guy would have pointed us in the right direction!"

"Cin, are we ever letting these two out on their own again?"

"Nah, I don't think so. They'll be grounded for too long to even think about going anywhere."

"Aw, MASTER!"

"Padawan..."

"Yes, Master."

"Obi-Wan, don't even think about complaining."

*groan* "Yes, Master."

"Good, Padawan. By the way, who's speeder is this?"

"Uh..."

"Um..."

"YOU TOOK MY SPEEDER?"

"... Hello, Master Windu..."

"In my defence, it was her idea. All of it."

"It was NOT, Kenobi!"

*three simultaneous facepalms*

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**I actually rather enjoyed writing this... I hope no one got completely confused by this.**

**Thanks for reading! Please review!**

**Xaja**


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